This is one of those “personal” posts, and it also doesn’t have pictures, so come back tomorrow if you’re only interested in the sports talk of it all.
Yes, I’ve been on the dating scene for far longer than I’d like to count, and it gets to me how I have yet to have a successful “long term” relationship. Really the longest I’ve been with someone where we both admitted me were in the relationship was one year. There’s been people I was involved with for longer periods of time, but nothing on a serious level. I’ve never lived with a significant other, I’ve barely even imagined it. There was a brief time in my early/mid 20’s when I thought I was going to get engaged and move away with my HS sweetheart, clearly that worked out.
However, with every passing relationship, be it 1 week or 52, I was left in the same state of brokenheartedness. I spent much longer than most other people trying to figure out what went wrong and how I could avoid such mistakes in the future. Well, this time around I think I might have found the answer.
DO NOTHING DIFFERENTLY.
The last few guys I’ve gone through, I still spent the required “way too long” wondering why it was over and grieving over the loss of the future plans we will never spend together. Only, I don’t wonder what I could do or be different in the next set up. I’ve learned to embrace who I am, because I’ve worked hard to be where I am and who I am.
I like the fact I don’t really care about politics. I like the fact my favorite topic of conversation is sexual innuendos, but I probably won’t sleep with you on the first date. I’m smart and educated, independent and driven. I don’t need a man to take care of me, but I appreciate the gesture. I am in love with the idea of being married and having children (twins) but I also would never accept a proposal before knowing someone at least a year, preferably two. I work and I play and I run and I watch TV. I watch TV more than I read books, but I enjoy learning and travelling and going to museums. I used to coach debate, but now I’d rather sleep in with my dog. There are so many things I am or do and I don’t want to change it.
This weekend I was messaging back and forth very briefly with a guy on a dating site. After telling him I was spending my night eating pizza and watching Netflix as a way to unwind, he wrote back, “I’m not interested in pizza eaters”. WHAT? How is that even a thing? I laughed and joked about it on Facebook. Sure there’s a part of me that thought “If that’s a deal breaker now, I’m screwed”. Mostly though, I ate my leftover pizza and deleted the message chain.
I’l never understand why Brian didn’t see me as girlfriend material. Why Ian just shut down one day. Why Jason didn’t “care enough” to stick it out. Why Ken randomly stopped talking to me. Why Dustin didn’t want to kiss me. What I do know is they have all helped me in the last 2-3 years to learn I at least like myself most days and that’s gotta be step one of the equation, right?