A friend posted this to Facebook a few days ago.
I included it in a post I sat down and wrote Monday night. A post I knew better than to hit “publish” on and waited until the morning. In the morning I felt much better and the angry/sad/emotional post is banished to never be seen.
It isn’t that I don’t trust or value everyone in this community or in my life in general. It is actually for that reason I didn’t publish it. My post was called “An Army of One” and in it I expressed my recent feelings of loneliness and abandonment. I expressed fear and uncertainty and a general lack of hope. Somehow writing those words, knowing with the push of a button I could be heard, if not understood and a night of crying were what I needed.
Emme had her checkup today. She is ahead of the curve with healing. No longer will she need physical therapy and she is cleared for everything but jumping. We will start walking together tomorrow and more importantly we will start sleeping in the regular bed tonight! My back and hips have never been more pleased. The many nights I stayed in with her the past two weeks, the seclusion and constant watching, along with regular medicine (she hated) and forcing her to do her movements has paid off.
Last night I allowed myself to go to dinner with a friend. Afterward we went to my old Toastmasters club. I couldn’t stay long since I did have to get home to give Em her meds, but it was nice to remember who I am in other parts of my life…and it was nice to know even when I pull away there are people who love me, who don’t HAVE to, people who will stick by me and care.
When I change my “I” to “we” life wasn’t so overwhelming. I don’t have to be an army of one…and that is worth the world to me. Also, I learned, even as a counselor I’m allowed to need help, I’m allowed to experience every emotion out there.
Now, let’s get back to product reviews, gym reports and recipes!