Yesterday things started off wonderfully (unlike this sentence which I had to retype 4x before the Y stayed capitalized). Instead of my normal work schedule I attended an all day workshop on medicine assisted treatment. Suboxone, Subutex, Methadone….etc. I have to admit, not working at an agency where we use those items, a lot of the information was over my head. Given the workshop was all day, by the afternoon I was drowning in facts and figures. That’s OK though, I am a terrible learned when it comes to listening. I need to read it or do it on my own, so I plan to look over the binder of information this week and will probably fill in the blanks easily.
Why where things so smooth though? Well, for starters apparently the difference between reporting at 800 and 830 is out of this world. My body woke up better, Emme was treated to breakfast and lots of petting, I was able to eat and do my hair and pick out reasonable clothing and the traffic didn’t tick me off. Arriving in a good mood made everything nicer too. I was happy to have been feed, then at lunch I had a reasonably healthy sandwich, followed by a snack after the meeting. The day was so nice, I grabbed Emme and we went for TWO different hikes! Each about 2 miles long, and nothing too challenging. See was tuckered at the end.
What’s with the leaf title? Well, it was a thought to cross my mind while run/hike/walking with Em. Why do we always say we’re turning over a new leaf? Were the old leaves really that terrible? Watching my dog on the trails I can tell you she shows equal love to ALL leaves. And why is it something new has to be a new leaf? Why can’t each day and each choice simply be something on the continuum of life? Perhaps this is just me rambling because I’m tired of “starting over” or justifying “it wasn’t my fault”. Maybe I don’t want all the pressure of emphasis of “making a comeback”. I am who I am and I do what I do and eventually today and tomorrow will be nothing more than memories. Both the good and the bad will blend into something called “history”. I think we often look for new leaves, because they hold promise and possibility, old leaves carry old memories and sometimes people don’t like to recall things that once hurt them. Why not? That path littered with leaves and sticks and rocks got you to where you are today. Nothing wrong with revising it once in a while…you never know what you missed the first time around.
So with that…I’m not turning over any new leaves, and I’m not making any grand commitments, but I am enjoying the good and the bad as it passes.