This is the day for change. It’s time to get active and eat healthy. With your heart set, your food supply slowly changes from pizzas and potato chips to vegetables and granola bars. Life is going pretty well for you, until you hit a slump. The day of grocery shopping arrives and you cave, buying just one bag of potato chips. This is no big deal. With all the hard work you have been putting into your health, one bag of chips can’t hurt. Everything continues to run smoothly until the day arrives where everything within you want to avoid the gym. Turning to your spouse or partner for support, they tell you to stay. They love you just as you are. Being healthy is overrated. This is relief for the moment and you decide to skip the gym that day. With your partner’s voice still in your head, you actually end up skipping many days. Now you have to start building your habit from scratch again. A part of you wishes your partner would support your desire to be healthy. What is wrong with wanting to be healthy?
It can be hard to achieve your fitness goals, be they to train for a race, lose weight or something else, if your loved ones don’t support you. This is especially true within a relationship as your partner’s opinion often carries more weight than any other. If the above situation feels all too familiar, here are some steps to help insure your success in both fitness and love.
Love yourself as you are
Accepting yourself and loving yourself does not mean accepting your unhealthy habits or that you must stay just as you are. In fact, over a lifetime we are constantly changing. Know that being healthier will not automatically make you happy. You may find yourself feeling physically better and more fit, but you will always be you. It’s possible your partner may feel that you are unhappy as you are. If your partner seems unsupportive, make sure you let them know that you are not doing this in order to be happy, but that you are happy and love yourself enough to give your body all it needs.
Invite your partner to come with you
Another common reason why your partner may wish for you to stay in instead of working out may simply be they don’t want to feel left out. In our busy lives we tend to spend most of days working. The time we get to spend with family and loved ones is precious. I may be that your partner sees your trips to the gym cutting into your time together. Working out together can be a great bonding experience and even enhance your drive to keep going. Going to the gym can be a part of your time together. Let’s not forget the pleasurable *ahem* gains to physical fitness that can be enjoyed together as well.
Tell your partner to support you
We all have our dense moments. Maybe your partner does not fully understand why your fitness goals are so important to you. Don’t make assumptions about their intentions; sit them down and ask. Two things need to happen here. You need to make perfectly clear what your goals and motivations are. Your partner needs to tell you why their support has been lacking. With this information at hand, you need to tell them why this is important and why you need their support. Even if they aren’t excited to support you, all they have to do on the days you don’t feel like working out is ask “are you sure?” They are only three small words, but second guessing your lack of motivation may be just what you need to get to the gym.
Find alternative support
Establish a friend or family member you can reach out to on the days where you feel less inclined to go to the gym. Tell them beforehand that you are planning on calling them for support when you need it. This way you don’t have to bother worrying about whether or not your partner supports your efforts. Maybe this is just one part of life your partner can’t muster passion for. Don’t even bother letting them know you don’t feel like going to the gym. Call your friend or family member to get the support you need for your fitness goals.
Thank you Tonya, for your excellent advice and guidance on what to do when a partner presents a possible roadblock to our fitness. I am sure if I implemented some of these in past relationships there would have been far less stress. If you enjoyed Tonya’s post please read her bio below and give her a shout out.