With a month left…

I have to admit I’ve only earned one more point with HBBC. Yikes! I did not run 4-5 miles each day, I did not get on the ellip and I didn’t even do a Turkey Trot! My one more point came via running a mile with my dog last night…totally out of the blue.

It’s not that I don’t care…it’s that I’m going through what my Mom calls “end of the semester let down” See, I’m pretty much done with school. I turned in my lovely 20 page client analysis on Wed. I have two more group meetings, but those are actually fun and I’ve already received my evaluation on it. I also have class next Wed, but that’s only to have a meeting and process what we’ve gained from our Practicum experience. So YES I have things to attend, but no more homework, no more clients. It’s a good feeling, and weird. I feel like it’s ended too soon. I vividly recall sitting in the first part of Prac and being told “you’re scared now, but in 15 weeks you will be totally different people”. Somehow this became true. I’m not just a different personal clinically, I’m a different person in every aspect of my life…and to me that’s true progress and true learning. I’m the kind of person I would want as a therapist. I’m kind and caring, I’m interested in more than the surface details, I’m not afraid to do extra work or try something new, and I do not think I’m better than anyone…well most people anyway ( ;

So what better time to revisit the New Years Resolutions of 2010!

1. Check HERE for a listing of each resolution and my reasoning for picking it.
2. Check HERE for the May check-in and progress report.

1. Spend more time with my friends. This includes trying to make new friends.
While I was doing well with this from Jan to May, I do not think I’ve done so well with this since summer. I did continue to go to Toastmasters, but the book club fell apart and without school people lose touch. I started dating Mr.B and most of my free time went to him. Although I have started hanging out with Liz again and I loved that. Also, over the summer I went to many running clubs and met new people. The OC training crew are some of the best lades and gentlemen I’ve ever met and they MADE the race experience for me. Still, once school hit, I didn’t even have free time. Yet, I was OK with this…I knew it was from my choices and not from a lack of being cared about.

2. ENJOY life.
I have to say, I’ve done well with this one. School became interesting again, my running became fun. I did things I wanted to do and when I didn’t want to do it…I didn’t. And I wasn’t worried about pleasing everyone. And it turns out life can be fun. I never pictured myself at a football game and I went a few weeks back and it was awesome. Maybe not as awesome as it is to some fans, but my attitude about it made it awesome. I look forward to things that are in my reach now, instead of long off wishes. Such as moving into my own place, having a career instead of a job…things that I feel make me proud and I can talk about them. I no longer feel like my life is in transition, but instead making a full on sprint to the finish line.

3. Stop swearing.
Not where I want to be with this. I really wanted to have a cleaner mouth before Internship. I still manage my little “God bless America” and “What the frick” or “Eff that” but I really want to even cut out a lot of those. Swearing is NOT attractive in a lady and it kills the effect when you do it too much.

4. Don’t date losers.
I would be a terrible person if I said anything other than I’ve done well with this. In 2010 there were two dating episodes. The first was very brief and probably shouldn’t even count. Not based on quality but more based on duration, but it did lead me to know more about what I want. The second lasted long enough for me to count it as a dating experience. Mr B was not a loser. He was probably one of the better dating situations I’ve had…although not everyone would agree. But he helped me to learn new things, like sports, which I always say your partner should help you grow. And while I didn’t get to change my FB status and I didn’t get cards or flowers and cheesey pictures of us posing together at events…I did realize there’s a part of me that wants all of that. And there’s a bigger part of me that doesn’t need it. What everyone else sees and hears isn’t the relationship…it’s what’s between you when all the noises of the rest of the world are gone. And I’ll always feel that was good between us. Just sitting together on the couch and existing.

5. Take time for me.
This has been hard, given the lack of free time and my desire to be social. I’ve continue to do things like driving without the radio. My lack of lunch break also hurt this, as I would go for walks by myself to break up the day. Weird thing though…when I stopped being sad about how much I wasn’t included, I didn’t feel so lonely. Instead I would just remind myself the day ends eventually and I can go off and do all the things I enjoy. At Clinic I had a favorite chair I would sit in a reflect. I made friends with other students and enjoyed getting their feedback and insight. It wasn’t alone time, but it was time for me in the sense it helped me grow. Notice that grow and improve theme? Hmmmmm

6. Lose weight…such a shallow goal but this is more along the lines of taking better care of myself.
Perhaps all this happiness has helped too, but I’ve lost some weight and kept it off. At points I was higher than when I made the first listing…but not anymore. I’d still like to see another 5-10 pounds off my frame, but I am no longer embarrassed by my body. I’ve lost between 5-8 pounds depending on when you measured and I surely do not have a ton of new muscle. BUT being happy about my life…and found myself looking in the mirror less and wanting to change my body. When a person feels their life is out of control, they often turn on themselves because it’s one of the last things no one else can influence…and I think I did that. I know I’m not skinny and I know I’m no beating men off with stick…but ya know what? I’m more together than a lot of the “beauty queens” I know. And I’m still a good looking gal regardless. Still, won’t it be awesome if I looked as good in a bikini next summer as I did in my dream last night?

Unofficial #7…constant self improvement. What more can I say on this but….CHECK.

Today I plan to get Mom to go eat fancy grilled cheese with me. Pick up my tag from the giving tree to spoil some children I do not know. Finish reading “Man’s Search For Meaning”. And watch OSU/MI game! Go Buckeyes! (Notice the text colors….they should be scarlet and grey)

Leave a Reply