Wild Turkeys

Random entertainment for the day:

You know how dogs get when they see a squirrel? They like freak out and trip all over themselves trying to look at the thing? But if they ever caught one they’d probably die of not knowing what to do? Well judging by the title you probably think I’m about to tell you how Emme saw a turkey today. No, no such normalcy. See the thing that freaks out when they see a wild turkey…is ME. No joke. I about DIE every time I see one of these things. They don’t really upset me, but I certainly look that way. So today,driving along…traffic, buildings, construction, pile of dirt, huge brown bird standing on one leg, jogger….WAIT WHAT THE FRICK WAS THAT? And I literally do like a Linda Blair in my car and scream “What the f*ck what that???” as I look out the side windows. Now I’m 26 years old and I see wild turkeys on the regular near my house but every year and every time I have the same reaction. My heart starts beating a million miles per minute, I can’t stop staring at the thing, and it’s on my mind for the rest of the day. I can’t explain it. No one else cares about these things the way I do! I think they’re sneaky. Who just STANDS in the middle of the yard? All like, “oh you can’t see me”. Huh? That’s what I thought. It’s even weirder when it’s a flock and it’s like some turkey gang. And why don’t I see them the rest of the year? I mean they’re HUGE, where do they LIVE? I also find them very cute and want to pet them, and think they’re delicious! But mostly I think they’re devious.

Turkey I made at work, while bored today…because they’re on my mind!!!


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