With a month left…

I have to admit I’ve only earned one more point with HBBC. Yikes! I did not run 4-5 miles each day, I did not get on the ellip and I didn’t even do a Turkey Trot! My one more point came via running a mile with my dog last night…totally out of the blue.

It’s not that I don’t care…it’s that I’m going through what my Mom calls “end of the semester let down” See, I’m pretty much done with school. I turned in my lovely 20 page client analysis on Wed. I have two more group meetings, but those are actually fun and I’ve already received my evaluation on it. I also have class next Wed, but that’s only to have a meeting and process what we’ve gained from our Practicum experience. So YES I have things to attend, but no more homework, no more clients. It’s a good feeling, and weird. I feel like it’s ended too soon. I vividly recall sitting in the first part of Prac and being told “you’re scared now, but in 15 weeks you will be totally different people”. Somehow this became true. I’m not just a different personal clinically, I’m a different person in every aspect of my life…and to me that’s true progress and true learning. I’m the kind of person I would want as a therapist. I’m kind and caring, I’m interested in more than the surface details, I’m not afraid to do extra work or try something new, and I do not think I’m better than anyone…well most people anyway ( ;

So what better time to revisit the New Years Resolutions of 2010!

1. Check HERE for a listing of each resolution and my reasoning for picking it.
2. Check HERE for the May check-in and progress report.

1. Spend more time with my friends. This includes trying to make new friends.
While I was doing well with this from Jan to May, I do not think I’ve done so well with this since summer. I did continue to go to Toastmasters, but the book club fell apart and without school people lose touch. I started dating Mr.B and most of my free time went to him. Although I have started hanging out with Liz again and I loved that. Also, over the summer I went to many running clubs and met new people. The OC training crew are some of the best lades and gentlemen I’ve ever met and they MADE the race experience for me. Still, once school hit, I didn’t even have free time. Yet, I was OK with this…I knew it was from my choices and not from a lack of being cared about.

2. ENJOY life.
I have to say, I’ve done well with this one. School became interesting again, my running became fun. I did things I wanted to do and when I didn’t want to do it…I didn’t. And I wasn’t worried about pleasing everyone. And it turns out life can be fun. I never pictured myself at a football game and I went a few weeks back and it was awesome. Maybe not as awesome as it is to some fans, but my attitude about it made it awesome. I look forward to things that are in my reach now, instead of long off wishes. Such as moving into my own place, having a career instead of a job…things that I feel make me proud and I can talk about them. I no longer feel like my life is in transition, but instead making a full on sprint to the finish line.

3. Stop swearing.
Not where I want to be with this. I really wanted to have a cleaner mouth before Internship. I still manage my little “God bless America” and “What the frick” or “Eff that” but I really want to even cut out a lot of those. Swearing is NOT attractive in a lady and it kills the effect when you do it too much.

4. Don’t date losers.
I would be a terrible person if I said anything other than I’ve done well with this. In 2010 there were two dating episodes. The first was very brief and probably shouldn’t even count. Not based on quality but more based on duration, but it did lead me to know more about what I want. The second lasted long enough for me to count it as a dating experience. Mr B was not a loser. He was probably one of the better dating situations I’ve had…although not everyone would agree. But he helped me to learn new things, like sports, which I always say your partner should help you grow. And while I didn’t get to change my FB status and I didn’t get cards or flowers and cheesey pictures of us posing together at events…I did realize there’s a part of me that wants all of that. And there’s a bigger part of me that doesn’t need it. What everyone else sees and hears isn’t the relationship…it’s what’s between you when all the noises of the rest of the world are gone. And I’ll always feel that was good between us. Just sitting together on the couch and existing.

5. Take time for me.
This has been hard, given the lack of free time and my desire to be social. I’ve continue to do things like driving without the radio. My lack of lunch break also hurt this, as I would go for walks by myself to break up the day. Weird thing though…when I stopped being sad about how much I wasn’t included, I didn’t feel so lonely. Instead I would just remind myself the day ends eventually and I can go off and do all the things I enjoy. At Clinic I had a favorite chair I would sit in a reflect. I made friends with other students and enjoyed getting their feedback and insight. It wasn’t alone time, but it was time for me in the sense it helped me grow. Notice that grow and improve theme? Hmmmmm

6. Lose weight…such a shallow goal but this is more along the lines of taking better care of myself.
Perhaps all this happiness has helped too, but I’ve lost some weight and kept it off. At points I was higher than when I made the first listing…but not anymore. I’d still like to see another 5-10 pounds off my frame, but I am no longer embarrassed by my body. I’ve lost between 5-8 pounds depending on when you measured and I surely do not have a ton of new muscle. BUT being happy about my life…and found myself looking in the mirror less and wanting to change my body. When a person feels their life is out of control, they often turn on themselves because it’s one of the last things no one else can influence…and I think I did that. I know I’m not skinny and I know I’m no beating men off with stick…but ya know what? I’m more together than a lot of the “beauty queens” I know. And I’m still a good looking gal regardless. Still, won’t it be awesome if I looked as good in a bikini next summer as I did in my dream last night?

Unofficial #7…constant self improvement. What more can I say on this but….CHECK.

Today I plan to get Mom to go eat fancy grilled cheese with me. Pick up my tag from the giving tree to spoil some children I do not know. Finish reading “Man’s Search For Meaning”. And watch OSU/MI game! Go Buckeyes! (Notice the text colors….they should be scarlet and grey)

First day of HBBC points

I’m not motivated to write my paper right now, which is bad, so I think if I write this entry I will be more willing to get with the typing. I’m cuddled up to my heater in the crazy cold basement. Even my dog is down here sleeping when she has company. Yes, the dog has company. So it’s apparently a lazy type of day!

As the slacker I am I never told you about the 5 mile trail #2 run from last week (was it only last week?) it was nice. I felt like I was really pushing myself and was going to come in under my previous time, but in the end I was 2 minutes over! Yikes! I ran with Gale and she was still recovering from the Bobcat Marathon so we trotted along and talked and enjoyed the day. In the end I didn’t care about the time on the clock, although I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly put off by not doing better.

Sunday I spent the afternoon at the Brown’s game. Since preseason doesn’t count…this was my first real football game. Browns VS Jets and it went into overtime. It was a really exciting game and I was glad I went. Like most sports it’s better live, but also I need(ed) to watch TV games to better understand all the details. Given the chance I’d go again.

The last week has been spent doing an array of things. Sun night I began to feel a little under the weather. By Monday it was really setting in and it was a good thing I already had a DRs appointment. I wasn’t able to get my new meds until Tuesday night though…dumb pharmacy hours! And by then it was too late..the infection was in my lungs. Good news? I LOVE my new asthma meds. TOTALLY better than the Sigulair…no comparison even. I spent the week getting to breath again, but also fighting certain death. OK OK I wasn’t THAT sick! However, since I was also working on my 10+ page outline to go with my 60+ minute presentation, and I have ZERO free hours….it felt that way!

Along those lines….Jillian’s workout has gone away. For now. I did like it, and managed to do it 3 of the 5 weekdays last week. Then the weekend struck and illness struck and it’s finals week. So with all those icky excuses, I’m going to go ahead and restart…perhaps when it’s Dec 1. Not too far away and a nice gauge of 30 days. Sexy for New Year! Who wants a date?

HBBC started yesterday. I see many people already have double digit points! Yikes! Way to go! I was bummed I didn’t do more yesterday, then was all proud of myself today. I ran a 5k…and it was a mile walk to/from the car to it was a 4 pointer! Yeah….that barely gets me on the board. This crowd means serious business! Speaking of today’s race. It was the CWRRC Fall Classic. I’ve done the spring and fall versions of this race a few times. Not a bad 5K, half marathon is horrid! So I woke and went up, and told myself I would walk to whole thing. Somehow though I was convinced to try and run some of it. So when the bell started I began to jog. Fully expecting my lungs to fight back. Interestingly enough….no fight. So I kept jogging. What bad thing did happen? My underwear fell off. No seriously. Luckily I had pants on. But I ran the whole race with my tush hanging out, a gathering of fabric right below it, hanging on in the from and back only because it couldn’t slip down past my leg opening in the pants. Ugg. No one could see, that I know of…I was wearing baggy running ADIDAS pants, but still….it was slightly distracting. At about the 1.5 mile marker we had water and I could FEEL the burn in my lungs. I knew I had to keep going though if I didn’t want to give up. I ran for it, feeling myself so down a little. I heard someone say mile 2 was around 21:00 on their watch and I was like “YIPPIE” but couldn’t hold on to that pace. I saw some friends doing the 1/2 course and I tried to keep up the effort. I finished according to the clock just under 34:00. I was OK with this, since I was just going to walk. And especially after being sick all week! I was thrilled. As I tried to push my way out of the shoot, because this was a huge race with 100s of people…one lady asked how old I was. I told her “26” and kept walking. She said “wait, you get a award” and I said “Really? Holy crap!” So that was a VERY exciting bonus to my run. Although I don’t think my time deserves any type of recognition…I’m still happy because dang-it I did it! I did it when I could have stayed in the covers…I did it when I could have claimed “illness” I did it when others didn’t. So today for this race I was 3rd in my age group…might not happen anywhere else with this performance, but that’s the beauty and fun of racing.

Now I must get back to my 20+ page paper. More stories of good times to follow…but these were what needed to go out today. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating, if I don’t check in before!

Wild Turkeys

Random entertainment for the day:

You know how dogs get when they see a squirrel? They like freak out and trip all over themselves trying to look at the thing? But if they ever caught one they’d probably die of not knowing what to do? Well judging by the title you probably think I’m about to tell you how Emme saw a turkey today. No, no such normalcy. See the thing that freaks out when they see a wild turkey…is ME. No joke. I about DIE every time I see one of these things. They don’t really upset me, but I certainly look that way. So today,driving along…traffic, buildings, construction, pile of dirt, huge brown bird standing on one leg, jogger….WAIT WHAT THE FRICK WAS THAT? And I literally do like a Linda Blair in my car and scream “What the f*ck what that???” as I look out the side windows. Now I’m 26 years old and I see wild turkeys on the regular near my house but every year and every time I have the same reaction. My heart starts beating a million miles per minute, I can’t stop staring at the thing, and it’s on my mind for the rest of the day. I can’t explain it. No one else cares about these things the way I do! I think they’re sneaky. Who just STANDS in the middle of the yard? All like, “oh you can’t see me”. Huh? That’s what I thought. It’s even weirder when it’s a flock and it’s like some turkey gang. And why don’t I see them the rest of the year? I mean they’re HUGE, where do they LIVE? I also find them very cute and want to pet them, and think they’re delicious! But mostly I think they’re devious.

Turkey I made at work, while bored today…because they’re on my mind!!!