Personal Life Recap:
Hello all. Yes I am a week behind. You see there was a good reason for this up until Friday afternoon. I spent just about every night with MR P last week. Tues, Wed Thurs and then Fri all had him in my life. Each day I was very pleased to have seen him, but somehow I also left a little more stressed about “us” than I previously felt. We all know I felt there were mixed signals. I never felt he wanted to be with me when he was with me and it really messed with my heart and my head, and no matter how many times he told me he thought I was amazing and planned to be with me, I just was so unsure. Well it turns out I had good reason to be unsure….he ended things at dinner on Friday. He claims it’s because he never felt a spark with me (yeah the spark lecture) and he thought it was because we were friends first but it never came along and he didn’t see the point in continuing to be together. He also said some stuff about not having the same life goals such as religion. Apparently this is very important to some people, I wish it was important to me….but it isn’t. I was terribly sad and cried almost all of Friday afternoon until Liz and I went out to play darts. Sat I was OK and realized he was right….the lack of passion I felt was really the lack of spark and we were so much better off as friends. I asked him a question on FB and he responded…later I went to thank him for it & noticed he has me blocked from seeing his wall. This actually hurts more than the “break up” I don’t think I said or did anything mean I don’t think I’m a terrible or unreasonable person, but by blocking me that way I feel like he’s sending the message….I do not want you to be a part of my person life in any way shape or form. Now I’m sad because I feel like I’m losing a friend. I can deal with losing a lover…it happens all the time…but to lose someone I really felt was a dear friend, that is killing me. It makes me think it was more than a lack of spark that caused him to go away…but really what can I do if that’s the case? Just wait it out until it hurts a little less…so that’s my last week’s story. I should stick to love affairs of school and running alone!
Oh wow I just realized too I never wrote about the “hot date” I went on with Tom. Talk about a Friday not going well. So get this, the week I did the races, that Friday Tom & I had one of our fake dates. I had THREE hairdryers break on me in a row. So yeah here I am with curlers..oh and my hair stayed wet! So with like 10 minutes to spare I ended up using some spritz junk and going with a crunchy wet look. Hmm. But here is the final product. We went to dinner..had a fabulous time and then went to Hot Tub Time machine which was SOOO funny! Although the funnier thing was us trying to find a theater. Apparently that night every Cinemark in our area had a disconnected # too weird.
Jog Into Spring 5K
So last Sat I went up and did the Jog Into Spring 5K. I’ve done this race in past years and it’s on a course used to a few other races as well. I arrived not too late and not too arly, met up with Gale in the pavillion and started to get all my stuff on. I still have not found the charger to my Garmin grrrrr so did not have it. Nor have I managed to get music loaded onto my shuffle so I was running in my vest with the full sized Ipod again. Not too bad really, but it’s getting nicer and there will be no more wearing of the fleece vest with pockets. As we started there was the cutest collie mix who decided she needed to herd everyone. Very rhythmic barking and it was really funny. The first mile was nothing too spectacular. I felt a little pull in my calves, need to hydrate better and some of the course had patches of ice we all did a little shuffle over. I was trying to stay tuned into my music and cleared it in about 10:15 which as I’m getting back into it all I am ok with that pace. The second mile had a little bit of hills in it and I don’t think I did as welll…maybe about a 10:30ish pace….but I was still running and I’m going for consistency not speed. I walked through the water stop. There are always people around you who sound like they are dying and I never know if I should look at the of not. I mean I feel like I’m in a horror film and they are about to stab me with such deep breathing, but then I fear the are struggling and for me to point out any type of issue I would scare them away from running forever. I also saw a Mom with her daughter who was nearly pulling her by the arm to keep up. After the water stop I tried to hard to keep running even if it was a slow run and I managed to finish the course I think around 32 mins so I was pleased with myself for the time. I mean for not running or working out during the week I am getting better each weekend so what right do I have to say anything. Afterward Gale and I chatted and listened to awards, it was NOT warm out there ) ; Then went alone our days
Bridges To Recovery
Sunday was the famous Bridges race. I did not pay for this race and it was the first time I was ever a bandit…and did not feel badly about it. I am a broke graduate student…I run 1-2 races every weekend for the past 3-4 years and occasionally I don’t have 20 bucks for another t shirt when I know I won’t win and blah blah blah I know I’m a terrible person but whatever.
I arrived quite late to this race…knowing I didn’t have to get ready. Still lack of Garmin and Shuffle but it was SO windy it’s always so windy for this race so I had the full IPOD. We started to run and I was immediately struck with the horror that I needed to go to the bathroom….and not the way I could just find a tree and duck behind. Crap! Uhhh no pun intended. So prayed I wouldn’t have any issues and thought Ugg this is my punishment for not paying!!! Well the first mile wasn’t too terrible, a little slower than the day before but I was trying to pace myself slower knowing the long slow trek up the bridge is killer. And my plan paid off. Despite it taking all day ok not really) I listened to the beat of my music, felt the rhythm of my breath and looked around me. I watched people keeping up their own pace and I gazed over the bridge with an almost mist like quality in the air, water and quiet buildings with a collection of white birds sprayed about it all. Very pretty and for a moment I was somewhere else. I made it up the “mountain” of a bridge and settled into a slight decline as I was so excited to have not walked! I managed not to walk at all again which was a HUGE struggle in mile three. I was sore in general, sore from dehydration and sore from the day before. I didn’t stop though…until I pulled off the side of the course with my friends instead of into the shoot since I wasn’t “official”. I didn’t do so well time wise. For someone who was at like 21 minutes for mile 2 I sure must have gone backward mile 3! I finished around 35 minutes. WOW WHAAAAAT? Oh well I still did it!
Well I was going to go to the run at the Zoo put on by HMA but after such a terrible Friday afternoon all I wanted was to hide in my bed and make it all feel better. Running probably would have helped make it all feel better. But Gale had gone to PA for a trail run and was sore. She cleared 12 miles!! I’m so happy for her! And terribly afraid of the 32 miles we will be doing on that same trail this fall! I went to Lowe’s with Mom and bought these things for the closet that hang there and are little cubbies for clothes. Finally after weeks of disaster in my room the clothes are off the floor! We colored eggs with the sis last night too. I made an egg with braces. HAHA. Then we watched Anchorman and Office Space. Today sis is coming over for dinner. And a hike with the puppies. All in all the weather is lovely and life isn’t too bad…I’m starting to get Happy Easter texts from my friends and that always makes me smile.