Potty or Puddle: the 10-Miler story

Greetings everyone! Who had an amazing weekend? Me too! Although now I am way behind on my final assignments for school. Does anyone want to write about alcohol abuse counseling for college students? No takers? Okay then we’ll stick to the running.

I’d like to point out all the experts…and generally people who are smarter than I am at times…suggest we increase out mileage no more than 10 percent each week. Now, I will admit I’m good at math, but at times lazy. Even I know going from a 5K to 7.5 miles to 20 miles is NOT a 10 percent increase. Which is why my body is very conducive to writing papers tonight…my legs HURT! But in a good way.

This was the second year I ran the 10 miler. I do not have last year’s report but I think I’ve talked about it in the past. This was the race where I was doing a project for school where I did not eat meat for the whole semester. Unfortunately given my lack of time and cooking this roughly translated into the semester where I did not eat. Such a smart thing to do while getting ready for a long and HOT race. Well I was sick, I was death marching the whole damn thing essentially and when I got to the end I collapsed in the grass. Note this 1: I am allergic to grass, I do not like to be IN it for any length of time 2: I don’t collapse. I am laying there, half unsure if I will wake up not in a hospital and I hear people talking about calling the paramedics. I start to doze off and hope whoever they’re talking about it OK. Then it dawns on me. I don’t know if my friends got my attention or if the voices getting louder made me sit up, but I find out they’re talking about ME! So yeah I really almost died.

This year, can’t say I’m having any eating issues and the weather was not hot, in fact it was supposed to storm! It held off though. This year’s race was so popular you were not allowed to park on site unless you carpooled. So off to Gale’s I went to meet her at 7AM. Together we went over to the site and met up with Pati. The three of us chatted and walked to get our numbers and came back to the car where there is the normal debate of “do I take a jacket?” “do I need my sunglasses” “I wonder if my legs will go fast enough” and people around you are taking pictures…smile fools smile, you know not what is about to happen.
We get to the restroom and as Pati points out it’s either Potty or Puddle and who cares it’s chip timed! Mind you people who are NOT back of the pack runners often say it’s ok to be late when it’s chip timed. Normally I am not a back of the pack, but I am working my way up from an injury called grad school! ( ; So yes, we were late to the start, but I can now say for the 3rd time in my life I have peed in a men’s bathroom. Does this make me more or less attractive to potential boyfriends? We jog over to the crowd and start running right as the last of the people are taking off. I hear the queerest conversation behind me as we start to glide down the starting hill. I do not use that word to be offensive, I use it to be accurate. It was a queer conversation. I hear this woman announce (probably to friends or a group) as the rest of us are running down this hill, looking like assess and not caring because it might be the last bit of fun we have for a few hours…”Remember, we are conserving. We are conserving for the end of the race. Conserving like camels”. I’m sorry but W T F? Camels? Let me tell you something, on my list of animals I associate with running, the camel is not listed. I get Zebra, I get Cheetah, I get horse or turtle or rabbit. Camels? When I think of camels I think of twiggy legs with huge knees, I think of huge fatty lumps and spitting (ok THAT’s running-esque) most of all because I am a child from the 80s/90’s I think of JOE CAMEL and I think of smoking. Which may be one of the least running related actions you can have. Still…we should all conserve like camels.

We get to mile 1 and we all seem so happy to get there. I think this odd, because if we’re all THAT pleased with ourselves for making it to mile one, as in there was a chance we WOULDN’T why on Earth are any of us running for 9 more miles? Still, music is going and the weather is nice to onward to mile two. Mile two is greets us with water. Yum. And then I decide I need a musical break. Mile 3 ,4 and 5 are silent other than the people and places around me. I hear an older woman with a cow bell, and smile. I see a young woman in a huge brown winter coat, giving long and detailed cheers to us all. Wow what enthusiasm! I hear feet and water belts and breathing….and along miles 3-4 I start to see other people. I see my friend Mallory, who doesn’t hear me so I try to yell her name louder, only to squeal it as if she’s a member of the Jonas Brothers. Oops. I see Pati, always making it look so easy! And I see Gale, who always makes me smile. Then I know I can walk a little if I need to, but I don’t. I followed this girl most of the first half who has a port-o-potty on her shirt with the words “I heart my pre-race buddy” the word heart was actually the symbol.

I get my water at 5, and before I know it I’m at the half way mark! I was upset though because we were supposed to have GU at 4 and it wasn’t there! It wasn’t at 5 and it wasn’t at 6! I started to feel woozy and regretted not bringing my own stuff. Miles 6-8 were mind games and talking to others as they took walk breaks. I wanted to keep running, but felt sick if I did. So I would walk at the marker and then run as best I could the rest of the way…trying to keep around a 12 min pace. When I saw mile 8 I knew it was going to be OK. They offered us GU at 8 and I honestly said “No I don’t want it! I wanted it like 4 miles ago!” Ooops I was cranky!

The last two miles HURT. I tried singing I tried looking around I tried timing and goal setting and everything. Still for the last half mile my calves would NOT work and I was falling all over the place. I slowly stumbled forward, looking at my watch and hating that I wasn’t going to make my goal. The thighs finally listened enough that I could run to the finish, but it was too late. Goal was under 2 hours and I finished in 2:01:xx. Booooo. Yet, not so boo since I haven’t been training.

They tried to feed us eggs and bacon…I was dumb enough to try and eat it. Hey at least at this finish I stayed up right and out of the grass! I had three bites before nearly puking and tossed the bowl. Gale PR’ed so that’s awesome!!! About a 1:40:xx for her and Pati was just under that and took 2nd in her age group! Mallory was happy with her results and although I didn’t see Kelli I think she was happy too! She’s always happy! I love that about her.

Here’s to another fabulous Hermes race, and may we all kick ass-phalt in August in Lyndhurst.


Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation
actual +/- avg actual +/- avg
1 10′ 33 -1′ 36 5.7 +0.7 -4 ft
2 10′ 58 -1′ 11 5.5 +0.5 +3 ft
3 11′ 01 -1′ 08 5.4 +0.5 -9 ft
4 11′ 50 -0′ 19 5.1 +0.1 0 ft
5 12′ 01 -0′ 08 5.0 +0.1 +3 ft
6 13′ 41 +1′ 32 4.4 -0.6 +9 ft
7 12′ 28 +0′ 19 4.8 -0.1 -6 ft
8 12′ 44 +0′ 35 4.7 -0.2 +4 ft
9 13′ 00 +0′ 51 4.6 -0.3 -16 ft
10 13′ 02 +0′ 53 4.6 -0.3 -46 ft
end ** ** ** ** ** ft
Versus average of 12′ 09 min/mile
** Insufficient data to calculate this split


Posted from bimactive.com

So I saw they posted a video on FB…I googled it and found the YouTube format. For your pleasure….I am FAMOUS! I do send autographs. In the start, the girl in grey getting her pins and number like a pro. I’m about 99 percent sure it’s me!


Chardon Maple Sap 5-miler

Long story short I agreed to meet up with Tom on Sunday for the 5-miler in his neck of the woods. It was raining in the AM and I was less than pleased. My legs still hurt and I was not wanting to get wet! Still, I knew afterward we would be eating pancakes until we puked so it was so worth it! We chatted a bit before hand and I noticed the HOTTEST guy. I am not kidding you I was in love! I wish I had a pic of him to show the world…and post above my bed.

We watched the 1 mile race go by and cheered. Then we lined up for the 5…and the rain magically stopped! Yippie! We started and I yelled in pain to Tom that I was seriously not kidding this did not feel good. It was the BAD kind of pain! I struggled the first mile and felt myself slipping more and more behind everyone I was trying to pace with and I was getting so sad. I never looked at my Garmin, I usually don’t….I use it to see things after the race. When I got to mile one I figured they paced it off wrong, but Garmin beeped. They called off the time and I looked down at my friend and sure enough I was running a 9:42 pace. OHHHHH NO SHE DIDN’T. Girl you can NOT I repeat can NOT run 10 miles one day and turn around and push out a 9:40 mile the next day! You haven’t pushed out a 9:40 mile this year yet! No wonder I was in pain! And to think I was starting even faster since I fell behind. When I slowed up and grabbed the next mile around 10:30 and the third around 11:00 I knew I was doing better and wasn’t in as much pain.

After mile 1.5 a wire angle greeted us where last year a man and two loud dogs sat. Down the road more a man and a not loud dog sat and cheered us on. Another lonely race. Rain will do that. As I neared the stretch for the turn around I saw hottie mc hottness and he did not have his shirt on…ob c’mon seriously? You’re gonna do that to me? (drools) a little after mile 3 my legs said “screw you” and around mile 4 was not pretty and not proud but I was on my way home. I tried running from mile 4, knowing I was totally gona reach my goal of under an hour. However my legs didn’t want to play that game and again would barely walk at some points. Hello nice tree to keep me from falling over! I pushed it up the last HUGE hill (huge in my eyes) and manged to finish in just under an hour!

Neither Tom nor I won an award, which we didn’t think we would. Then we met up with Jene, Wendy and Steve for the Maple Festival. Tom and I are our pancakes which were indescribably wonderful. Then we all watched the bathtub races. I wanna do that next year. You put a casteiron tub on wheels, two people push and one sits inside and steers. How fun?! Then we walked through the vendor tent and the craft show before trying to watch the lumberjack show. I am being made fun of for asking if they throw chainsaws at the targets….apparently no they use axes. Sadly, it started to rain to we all went our own ways. So off I went, back home. To the comforts of a computer screen and overdue papers.

Elevation (ft)

Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation
actual +/- avg actual +/- avg
1 9′ 41 -2′ 14 6.2 +1.2 -89 ft
2 10′ 42 -1′ 13 5.6 +0.6 -46 ft
3 11′ 45 -0′ 10 5.1 +0.1 0 ft
4 13′ 55 +2′ 00 4.3 -0.7 +46 ft
5 13′ 23 +1′ 28 4.5 -0.6 +78 ft
end ** ** ** ** ** ft
Versus average of 11′ 55 min/mile
** Insufficient data to calculate this split
Posted from bimactive.com

Tom & I were supposed to bike this weekend, but it is now sold out. So who knows? Good Luck to all my loves running in:

You will all be fantastic! Here’s to PR’s and good friends.

One thought on “Potty or Puddle: the 10-Miler story

  1. Wow. This sounds incredibly intense. I always get so impressed and kind of intimidated when I read the posts about your races. Lol. You're amazing to go through all this! 🙂

    And I loooved that list below of racing versus sex. Hilarious!!

    I hope this weekend is even better for you, Julie. xoxo

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