I don’t know if this is a very accurate way to talk about myself…but it’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Allow me to explain.
Drew Barrymore (IMHO) is an amazing actress. And BTW I made the graphic a few years ago. She adds life and character to any role she takes on and I highly doubt anyone could carry some of her people as well as she has. She’s a very kind person and I’m always impressed with her interviews and the way she deals with her personal life. However, she is not an A-list celebrity. She does not take on award winning roles and I do not think she isn’t talented enough for them, I think she chooses not to take them on. Perhaps because of the pressure and demands, perhaps because of her past with sex and drugs? Who knows? I think she is more than able to go above and beyond her fulfilled potential if she ever wanted, but I doubt she ever will and part of that is what makes her such a great actress. A person, who knows their logical limits and shines within those instead of seeking something “more” as way of showing others up, is rare.
I feel this is the direction my running and sports is taking. I think, in fact I know I have the ability to be fast, if I worked at it. I probably have the ability to start being well known for my age, and maybe someday overall. I thought this is what I wanted, but then I’ve come to realize what I really want, is to have fun and enjoy what I do. I thought being faster would be more fun, I thought going a longer distance would be more fun, and in ways these things WERE fun. I lost touch with saying HI to people though, I lost touch with looking at trees and looking at friends. I want to be a b0list runner. I want to take on roles I know are fun and I can add my own character to them. Sure I might be able to do something “better” by typical standards, but I need to live up to my own standards NOT everyone else’s.
I really LOVE half marathons. I know I can do a full, but why do one full when I can do 3-4 halfs? It’s just more fun for me this way. For NYE I’m taking Emme on my run with me. I know I won’t go very quickly, I know it’s not chip timed and I’ll be in the back. But lately at night we’ve been running a mile or so together and she is SO happy and I am SO happy being with her and sharing that moment. Races will come and go, but time spend with my puppy will always be cherished and time spent with friends should be cherished. I mean what if I get my way and I move in two years with a great job offer? Will I walk into a new city and talk about the time I shaved 15 seconds off my 5k? Or will I talk about the great races with the hills or the food or the adventure race stations where you play corn-hole?
All I know is I love being on break from school and I look forward to going back (a little) so I can get with the personal training. Maybe when I talk to someone professional and they can evaluate what my body is doing we can set something up I’ll be happy with?
I’m doing a race tomorrow actually. It’s a first annual and it’s just a fun run, but I am so excited for it. Going with my little sister and we’re going to dress up and sing carols. I hope we don’t freeze! It should be so pretty. I’m taking my camera.