Ok so I feel much too negative lately and I don’t like being that person or that way. So I am posting a list of things I am thankful for and will try to be better than just saying “family”.
I am thankful for my education. Not just formal education but every day learning. I learn from my friends when we share life experiences, I learn from all of you when I read about your lives or your training or your feelings and it helps me grow as a person. My formal education is something I work hard at and not everyone is capable of adjusting to new techniques and new theories and different teachers in order to be awarded a piece of paper. Not everyone can afford classes or has a passion so deep it requires such intense training. Not everyone has excellent support systems and a variety of support to help them keep going even when they don’t know how. Education is more than just showing up to class and although it can get the best of me, it also creates the best in me.
I am thankful for my job. In this economy it’s great to have any job but I am blessed with a job I actually enjoy my tasks mostly each day. The people I work with can at times be stressful but I think that is because they want to create a different atmosphere than what I am looking for and this is not a fault, simply a difference. We may bicker, but in the end we all care for each other and it isn’t the same when one leaves or changes. My job grants me the chance to develop myself professionally, but also the freedom to be casual and explore myself without fear of punishment. My supervisor is a great person who is very supportive and willing to help you out for any time of need. And I can’t lie, the vacation days, flex time and benefits are nothing to sneeze at.
I am thankful for my family. They are crazy and they are emotional and they are all broken and so is everyone’s family and you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re the exception. We are who we are because of where we came from and it’s nothing to hide. We sat around after dinner and talked for hours…HOURS with some family members I never see or had just met. Some of them I thought didn’t like me, but I never took the time to actually talk to them now that I’m an adult. I haven’t had so much fun and so much relaxation in forever. My family gossips, but that’s because we all have ideas of what’s right and what’s ideal and we don’t get it when someone isn’t living the way we think it perfect. We all have big hearts though and we would never let someone suffer when push comes to shove.
I am thankful for my friends. I have friends who I’ve lost touch with and they’re still people I wish the best for. I have people I’ve only recently met and I think I need to change how I feel about friendships. I always thought to a degree longevity was a key factor in closeness. Now I see that sometimes when you meet people you click with they can be very brief and intense friendships before moving on with your life path but that doesn’t make them any less important. Each person serves a special purpose in your life and some people take longer to serve that purpose than others. Simply be grateful you had the experience at all. Recently I went to a dance at my school with a friend…I’ve known her since I started the program and as I get to know her more she’s an amazing person. At this dance I saw parts of her I never saw before and never knew existed and it made me realize all too often we don’t fully give people a chance. We think we do, we give them a surface chance, but how often do you fully let someone in? I’d like to share some pictures of 80’s Prom with all of you. I made my dress myself from a 1.50 nightgown from the thrift store.
I am thankful for the romantic love I’ve held in the past and the romantic love I’ve yet to find. I’ve been deeply in love before, but given the status of being single I see those we not true love. And it hurts to have your heart broken but it’s exciting to know there is something better and more intense out there for me. And past loves have been so wonderful, it’s amazing to me there could possibly be something more out there to find. I’m thankful for life’s mysteries and possibilities.
I’m thankful for the chance we are given each day to make our own minds up about something. To change our thoughts, actions, feelings, everything. Each day is a day to start a new process or finish an old one, or recreate when we’ve found works for us. I’m most thankful that we are able to be who we are when we are where we are and why.
The full length one dollar nightie