Thankful

Ok so I feel much too negative lately and I don’t like being that person or that way. So I am posting a list of things I am thankful for and will try to be better than just saying “family”.

I am thankful for my education. Not just formal education but every day learning. I learn from my friends when we share life experiences, I learn from all of you when I read about your lives or your training or your feelings and it helps me grow as a person. My formal education is something I work hard at and not everyone is capable of adjusting to new techniques and new theories and different teachers in order to be awarded a piece of paper. Not everyone can afford classes or has a passion so deep it requires such intense training. Not everyone has excellent support systems and a variety of support to help them keep going even when they don’t know how. Education is more than just showing up to class and although it can get the best of me, it also creates the best in me.

I am thankful for my job. In this economy it’s great to have any job but I am blessed with a job I actually enjoy my tasks mostly each day. The people I work with can at times be stressful but I think that is because they want to create a different atmosphere than what I am looking for and this is not a fault, simply a difference. We may bicker, but in the end we all care for each other and it isn’t the same when one leaves or changes. My job grants me the chance to develop myself professionally, but also the freedom to be casual and explore myself without fear of punishment. My supervisor is a great person who is very supportive and willing to help you out for any time of need. And I can’t lie, the vacation days, flex time and benefits are nothing to sneeze at.

I am thankful for my family. They are crazy and they are emotional and they are all broken and so is everyone’s family and you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re the exception. We are who we are because of where we came from and it’s nothing to hide. We sat around after dinner and talked for hours…HOURS with some family members I never see or had just met. Some of them I thought didn’t like me, but I never took the time to actually talk to them now that I’m an adult. I haven’t had so much fun and so much relaxation in forever. My family gossips, but that’s because we all have ideas of what’s right and what’s ideal and we don’t get it when someone isn’t living the way we think it perfect. We all have big hearts though and we would never let someone suffer when push comes to shove.

I am thankful for my friends. I have friends who I’ve lost touch with and they’re still people I wish the best for. I have people I’ve only recently met and I think I need to change how I feel about friendships. I always thought to a degree longevity was a key factor in closeness. Now I see that sometimes when you meet people you click with they can be very brief and intense friendships before moving on with your life path but that doesn’t make them any less important. Each person serves a special purpose in your life and some people take longer to serve that purpose than others. Simply be grateful you had the experience at all. Recently I went to a dance at my school with a friend…I’ve known her since I started the program and as I get to know her more she’s an amazing person. At this dance I saw parts of her I never saw before and never knew existed and it made me realize all too often we don’t fully give people a chance. We think we do, we give them a surface chance, but how often do you fully let someone in? I’d like to share some pictures of 80’s Prom with all of you. I made my dress myself from a 1.50 nightgown from the thrift store.

I am thankful for the romantic love I’ve held in the past and the romantic love I’ve yet to find. I’ve been deeply in love before, but given the status of being single I see those we not true love. And it hurts to have your heart broken but it’s exciting to know there is something better and more intense out there for me. And past loves have been so wonderful, it’s amazing to me there could possibly be something more out there to find. I’m thankful for life’s mysteries and possibilities.

I’m thankful for the chance we are given each day to make our own minds up about something. To change our thoughts, actions, feelings, everything. Each day is a day to start a new process or finish an old one, or recreate when we’ve found works for us. I’m most thankful that we are able to be who we are when we are where we are and why.

The full length one dollar nightie

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Close up on the detail, which I LOVED!
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Self portrait of what this thing looked like @ first
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Getting the hair ready.
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Shoes – people in the 80’s hated feet
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Big crimpy puffy 80’s hair! This took a while to wash out.
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TADA final product!
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Tides are turning

Ok so I’m still not back on track with the running but I have been caring more. Last weekend I went hiking with my family and am happy to report we only have two more to finish our hiking spree…will do that this weekend I’m sure. And without my knowing it I ran into a blogging friend and her friends last Sunday. I read her blog and saw the pics and was like “OMG I was there I saw that couple and I played with that dog” what a small world!

Sister and I woke early and went to downtown yesterday for the 5miler. I will not be going back next year if they keep this new course. It was queer. And not in an insulting way, in a true to the word way. We went 2.5 up a road then 2.5 ish back. Along the way we saw several abandoned buildings, mostly of Asian cuisine nature…some signs not even in English, broken windows with wooden boards, state liquor agency and food stop accepting the welfare card, one open office building offering *CORRECTIONAL ADVOCACY AND REENTRY SERVICES* and so much more! Oh wait the sign at the parking lot telling you to put your junk in your trunk. Way too many people way boring route way cold and way too pricey for what you get. Next year going to the one closer to home. We ran the first mile around 12 mins, then she wanted to walk and we walked and talked the next 3 miles and ran in the last part from 4 to 5 and part of that had a nice little uphill so I was proud of her.

Dinner at Grandmas was nice…met some new family members…saw old ones too. One of my cousins is running the full Pittsburgh marathon next year, that should be fun for her. My Aunt suggested I should do Glass City in the spring…we’ll see. Food was good and that’s about it for that.

Today I slept in and went shopping around 10. Still managed to get everything I wanted and it was all on sale. I didn’t have to deal with long lines or crazy people. Greatest deal? For me I’d say it was one of my new pairs of Merrell shoes. A little over 10.00 off and then 20% more on top of that…these shoes NEVER go on sale. They’re a pair of suede clogs in this very pretty mint color. I also scored a pair of black and brown smaller flats also on sale but not the 20 percent off, only about 20.oo still amazing. Although apparently they had others on sale and in stock @ midnight for up to 60.00 dollars off! Crap! Might sleep there next year hahaha

I feel like I’ve been miserable forever…but really it’s only been a month since the race and I guess there are worst reactions. I really will start to perk up on Monday. I will go to the gym I will care again and I will stop getting so freaking itchy. Maybe then I will do well at the New Years Eve race? Reindeer is out, gonna walk it with the sis and the puppies. Maybe Gal’lop?

Hope everyone had a nice holiday.

Itchy

Has this happened to anyone else? It’s happened to me a few times now. So I haven’t been running much partly from finals and partly from being lazy but mostly because I am still SORE SORE SORE. I ran the 5k last week and was limping all weekend. WHY? Then I made it to the gym this week and both times as I was running I became painfully itchy all over my body. This happened to me when I first started running and it happened again when I started running again after recovering from surgery. I didn’t think I was sitting out that long from running so it makes me sad. I think it has something to do with the shock to my nerves? I dunno. I just know I am NOT myself lately I am in SUCH a funk and hate it hate it hate it. I wanna be happy and I want to run. Are these really too much to ask? I can’t wait for the end of the semester *growl*