FOMO : Fear of Missing Out

Show of hands (mouse clicks?) who reading this post has ever experienced FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)? The worry you experience when you think friends are having fun without you. When you’re sitting at home wondering what’s going on outside your walls and why you weren’t invited. Hey if you have, then don’t feel bad, apparently it even happens to the pets in our lives

It seems this has been a hot topic among my social media friends lately. How in our teens and 20’s we had more FOMO than we knew what to do with and it SHOWED. It showed in trying to juggle multiple parties in a night, over multiple days of a weekend. It showed in endless streams of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other form of social media. Full disclosure my early 20’s was more MySpace era and my teens happened sans social media, but the struggle was still real. Classes on Monday were always painful as you heard everyone talking about the latest gossip and there you sat twirling your hair, pretending not to hear. Eventually I’d have the sanctuary of my job to retreat to as an excuse, but FOMO remained.

Now in my 30’s I feel reasonably fulfilled in my social life, and scroll on past the pics of late night drinking drama. I’m perfectly content to curl up with a book. Or am I?

When no one (or everyone) is looking I’m still guilty of grabbing my phone and scrolling through feeds between chapters. I pause movies and use commercial breaks as a way to peek into the other side. Honestly if you ask me what I am doing and why I will very often tell you I am afraid of missing out on something. Heck, I use Facebook to know about weather and other major events before it’s on the TV! I deeply embrace my photo memories of laser-tag night, mud runs, book clubs and painting parties all while FOMO-ing at the seams when I see wedding and baby albums.

My FOMO is still there, but in a different form. I FOMO the latest books, I FOMO significant gatherings or classes, I FOMO plays and concerts.

If you too have FOMO what are some ways to work with it, not against it?

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Hmmm OTHER than with a magic pill?

  • Subscribe to email lists. I know I know MORE email, but hear me out. If you use GMAIL like me, there are ways to label and sort. Or if you use GMAIL like me and you’re SUPER LAZY like I am, there are ways to make everything go to “read” and then if you have a free weekend you can search your folder. Of course this doesn’t work if you need to buy tickets in advance, but hey it’s something.
    • I have email lists for sporting companies or sites (such as Active.com, Hermes Road Racing, and North Coast Multisports). If you go to an event one year, sign up for their email blasts so you know when it’s back in town.
    • I also have email lists for my local libraries, Goodreads, BookBub and others to follow the latest and greatest of my reading loves.
  • Follow various teams, artists or events you like on social media.
    • Many of those Sip and Paint events I attend I find out about on Facebook or Instagram. I event enter contests in order to get discounts or gift certificates!
  • Head on over to Eventbrite. This amazing and not given enough credit site is a WONDERFUL source for local goings-on.
    • Over the years I have used EB for tickets to running events, work lectures, community showcases and so much more!
    • Eventbrite even has a feature where you can sell tickets to your event in order to help others from having FOMO
  • There’s an app for that! Well, maybe not for FOMO specifically, but I bet for whatever you’re into there is one. Plus there’s a lot of apps and websites to help you figure out WHAT you might be into.
    • I’ve personally used Meetup.com to find social clubs, work out groups, book clubs and others over the years.
    • If you don’t know what you like, but are looking for new people there’s always free dating apps like OKCupid or Plenty of Fish.
    • December of 2014 BuzzFeed had a rather lengthy lists of apps to ward off FOMO. I think the Meet My Dog one sounds awesome and wish Emme wasn’t so rude to other dogs.
  • Old school marketing. What? As in pen on paper or word of mouth.
    • Next time you’re out and about try ASKING people if they know any XYZ locally if that’s what you’re into. Post a question to social media even. Be prepared to talk and listen to others?
    • That local shop you go to all the time? Yes? No? Perhaps they have a cork board with pamphlets and flyers. I know a lot of shops will carry stacks of cards announcing what’s around the corner.
    • Junk mail may not be all that junky and the flyer on your windshield might not be unwelcome. As technology advances so do niche marketing techniques so a lot of times when you get those things it’s because there’s recorded data that you’ve done something similar. Although it does seem like “spam” more often then not, maybe take a deep breath and take a look? You might discover your next passion.

 

Now tell me, what ways do you combat FOMO? Have the things you desire and the FOMO you experience changed over time?

Race Report : JCC Indoor Triathlon 2016

Sunday Jan 31st I participated in the 9th annual JCC indoor triathlon. NINE years? Holy cow. I’ve done this race every year except 2012 when I was required to sit out due to medical reasons (heart procedure). I can’t believe I’ve been doing this event for nearly a decade and all I can say is I hope to be doing it for another decade too!

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Liz and I planned on doing this race months ago (I always plan on doing it) and when I learned they moved it up to the end of Jan I was quite pleased. Last year it was on Feb 22. I don’t know why, but I had a good warm feeling about the shift. Then this weekend I spent the entire day Friday throwing up. Which I explained already and moving on…Saturday I wasn’t sick but I was feeling out of sorts, as one will when one has spent the previous day in a war with their stomach. Sunday I woke feeling 100% better, but hesitant to go to the tri. I may have my tummy under wraps, but I still felt weird and I was super bloated. Still, I didn’t feel sick enough to justify losing the entry fee so I headed out the door.

For this event the times and transitions were a little different from 2 weeks ago.

  • 15 min swim
    • 10 min transition
  • 20 min cycle
    • 7 min transition
  • 20 min run

I LOVE having the longer transition from swim to bike (TWICE as much time) but since I see swimming as a strong sport for me, losing those 5 mins of swimming bums me out in general.

We forgot to ask to be in the same wave so Liz was 2 waves ahead of me. I tried to look for her when I arrived, but as usual I’m on my own clock and had just enough time to change and get in the pool after checking in. oops. Once in the pool I was glad I DID listen to getting in the water 10 mins early. First because my body wasn’t adjusting to the temperature as well as I would have liked. Second because they started the wave early since we were all there! Ahh!

Before getting into the pool a girl waiting on her wave complimented my suit. She said it was her 1st indoor tri and she was a member at the JCC. They had a training program and she was super excited. I was excited for her! As I was entering the pool another girl complimented my suit! Woot. I was in fashion heaven.

I didn’t get any actual action shots in the water, but here’s basically what it looked like:

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Right away I knew something was wrong. I could NOT I mean could NOT keep my face in the water. I kept gagging and dry heaving. I flipped to my back and did that stroke the FULL 15 MINUTES. Ugg. Everyone around me was buzzing by and my heart was breaking. I was happy to be there, but still wishing I could be BETTER. Ya know? In the end I manged to get 20 lengths (10 laps) was was par for my performance at the 3 swim challenges. I was pleased with this and knowing I would have been better if my stomach didn’t hate me.

While transitioning to the bike I overheard some people say the bikes was super low on resistance this year and the trick wasn’t to push hard but the keep steady. Entering the studio I kept this in mind and sure enough they were super easy to pedal this year!

I was bummed the light show didn’t happen and the music was “spin class music” where I always loved this event because they played pop music instead. I don’t want spin music I can’t get lost in club music. I want something I can sing along to in my head and pass the time.

cycling

I pushed as steady as I could and tried to maintain about 100 RPM (I did and even got it over 110 a few times) what I didn’t know was they max out at 120 and when I was pushing at the end the 120 wasn’t too much more so I regret knowing I didn’t give it “my all”. I cranked out 8.6 miles. Liz stopped by to wave a few times as her wave was done at this point.

Up the steps to the run she joined and chatted for a second. I told her how much I wanted to throw up. Haha. She encouraged me to keep doing my best.

For the run portion my goal was to walk a mile. That’s it. I only wanted to walk a mile and be done. Then Liz was so perky and the teen acting as my counter we sweet and perky and everyone in my wave was in the best mood it seemed. It was contagious! I found myself “jogging” instead of walking. I found myself finishing a quarter mile of jogging and still going. I found myself at 1/2 a mile and NOT half done with the minutes!

Running JCC

By the end of the 20 minutes I managed to “jog” 1.25 miles which is the BEST I’ve done in a long time especially after swimming and cycling at full force. I was really over the moon with my efforts.

Although I HATE every single one of the pics from the event I also know they’re the reality of what’s happening. I was bloated and you can see it. I was wearing a shirt much too big and it made me look even larger than I am. Look at the two pics from each event 2 weeks apart.

side by side

Looking at my race reports from previous years though, makes me less hard on myself.

In 2013 I had 23 swim laps 5.4 miles on the bike and 22 run laps

in 2014 I had 22 swim laps 8.8 miles on the bike and 21 run laps

in 2015 I had 21 swim laps 7.5 miles on the bike and 17 run laps

In 2016 I had 20 swim laps 8.6 miles on the bike and 15 run laps.

All in all, yes I did get “worse” but I’m not a giant freak of nature embarrassment. It doesn’t mean I can look the other way with my weight, but it does mean I can give myself a break and keep moving forward as lovingly as possible.

Of course the best part came at the end

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Cue the heavenly music !!! It felt fantastic to be massaged after such an effort. Wonderful addition to the line up this year!

After the event Liz and I went to dinner where she had a sandwich made of french toast and I had a burger (no judgement, right)? Can’t wait for our next indoor tri in March!

January Book Reports

I’ll be honest; I’m not proud of my lack of better eating and exercise. I whine and whine about lack of time, and then I look at the fact I read 12 yes TWELVE books in Jan and consider perhaps I have the time, but there’s something else keeping me from bettering my body. Motivation? Desire? Probably something along those lines. After working 10 hours I 100% would rather curl up on a chair with a book and a dog than go to the gym. However, this weekend I spent Friday throwing up again and again and again which sounds bad, but the truth of that matter is, I’m not eating like I should (acid reflux) and it finally caught up with me. So hopefully February will bring more exercise news until then lemme share about the happy dozen I put behind me over the last 31 days.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

Celebrity Memoir by Tina Fey actress from SNL (Sarah Palin anyone?) as well as actress and producer for 30 Rock.

One of several celebrity memoirs I read this month and will continue to read. They are such fun light reading for the weekend! I always thought Tina seemed sweet and charming and for some reason thought she adopted her daughter. This book was a 5 star for me (which is rare) because I wouldn’t change anything about it! If anything I’d more to it and hope she writes another. The way she talks about her marriage reminds me so much of my relationship and all her Ohio jokes hit the heart in a funny way. I would highly recommend this book to nearly anyone.

Defending Jacob by William Landay

A HS kid is found killed in a local park. The detective on the case soon finds out his son is a suspect and everything just balloons from there.

I started this book when on vacation back in July and didn’t get a chance to finish. I also don’t recall being drawn into it, so I kept waiting and waiting. Upon major recommendation from my Mom I returned to finish it. If you’re a person who likes a lot of details (scenery being described, long drawn out explanations about medical or legal opinions) this may be a great book for you. I didn’t connect to the MC at all and scanned major sections of the book. The entire time you (reader) can tell you’re being set up for a last minute twist, but for me the ending came out of now where and I sat there going WTF did I just read?

Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny by Holly Madison

Holly was one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend’s back when Playboy was getting “popular” again and the show The Girls Next Door was huge. She was the “main girlfriend” and often portrayed as loving him and wanting to marry him, but he said “no”. This is her memoir of that time and the years after.

I will admit I watched GND and thought it was a fun show. I loved how classy Holly seemed and it was almost sweet she could find love despite an age difference. When we were in Vegas for my Mom’s bday I admired seeing her on the ads for Peepshow. After reading this book I am no longer a Holly fan. She told tales about her time at the mansion and while she talks about abuse and manipulation and feeling suicidal she also talks trash about a lot of people to a degree which I found more drama starting than really contributing to her story.

Sliding into Home by Kendra Wilkinson

The first book by Kendra, another of Hugh’s girlfriends and star of GND. She left the mansion and married football star Hank Baskett and continued to have reality TV star success. This book starts in her early childhood, covers her teens years and time at the mansion.

I loved this book. It was everything I would want in a celebrity memoir. She gave details without going overboard. She shared good and bad parts of herself and didn’t blame anyone else for the choices she made. When she talked about her time at the mansion she talked about other girls (sure) but I read it in a tone where she admitted it was her perception of the girls and not that she was dead right about her views. Before reading I was a Kendra fan and after reading I’m a bigger fan (I even think I have the same style couch as her grandma haha)

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I can’t wait to read her second book.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

A memoir by actress Amy Poehler another SNL alum and Parks & Rec star.

I loved Amy in Parks & Rec, and always thought she seemed sweet and funny in other appearances. I remember hearing she dealt with her divorce in a very classy way and that’s what made me think it’d be nice to read her book. She covers her childhood to a degree and what it was like trying to break into acting/comedy. She talks about her time on SNL and Parks & Rec and touches lightly on her personal life. I understand why she wanted to keep some of it private. Her lists and outbursts were hilarious, but the book overall lacked something for me.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Set in WWII this is a story which jumps back and forth between two main characters (sisters) one who stays at home in France and watches as her little idyllic life on the countryside is turned upside down. The other who travels doing what she can for the war efforts underground.

Normally I love me some WWII stories and if you’ve never read one before this may be one you like. It’s fully of details and events, without being too thick for a newer reader. Having read several other era based books though, this one does not hold up to the others (IMHO). About halfway through I was like “Ok when is something actually going to happen.” I think it was probably a device by the author so you’re attached to people when stuff starts to really go bad, but for me I found myself less attached because I was just drowning in slowness.

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

A YA book on teenage schizophrenia and other mental illness. A story of a girl who is battling with her diagnosis and the normal drama of being in HS. What’s real and what is not? What can she do about it?

I have a soft spot of all things mental health related it seems since I work in the field. The book leads you to believe/know someone she is interacting with isn’t really there, but it also gives you plenty of examples to believe everyone IS real. It took me a while to figure out what was going on and when I did my heart broke in two. When it was revealed what was happening it was even deeper than I imagined. The only book I gave 5 stars to this month and I finished it in one day I simply couldn’t put it down.

Crescent by Diana Abu-Jaber

The MC is nearly 40 years old and lives with her uncle while working at a local diner. She is the daughter of an American and a Middle Easterner although she doesn’t have much identity to either culture. She’s always amazed and drawn to the immigrants and exchange students. She meets and falls in love very quickly and passionately with an immigrant college professor with all these mysterious secrets.

I hated this book. I really did. I only read it and finished it because I was starting a new book club and didn’t want to NOT read the book for my first visit. Many of them loved it, or found a way to love it. The only part I liked was the fairytale told at the start of middle of each chapter. The MC was super boring and had little to offer me as a reader, her love interest never once crossed me as someone who should be lusted after, and the whole story line was just so far-fetched I couldn’t get into it.

The Best of Enemies by Jen Lancaster

Sarabeth (Betsy or Sars) has two best friends. One friend childhood and one from college. These two women appear to be complete opposites and are forever at odds with each other leaving destruction in their path. When Sarabeths’ husband shows up missing can the two ladies work together to help their mutual best friend?

Not gonna lie this was a total pleasure read. I related so much to Jack and her anti-all things pink and girly. While also relating to Kitty and her blog-o-rific fake life. The ending and parts of the story were a little stretched for me, but since it was a book I read for fun and not growth it didn’t bother me one little bit.

The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith

Set in Africa there is a woman who comes into some money and decides to open her own detective agency. Each part of the book deals with a new “mystery” but also touches on the backstory of this lady.

I really enjoyed this book. Each mystery was “easily” solved, but more so it was solved by someone willing to listen and take the time to consider the possibilities. It wasn’t over the top at all and I really loved the realism of this character. My only complaint was the ending as she changed her mind on something she swore she never would and I couldn’t figure out why she did that so it left me a little thrown for a loop. Of course it is book 1 of a series and we needed some type of cliffhanger I suppose. I also loved how this book made me research the area and culture more, so I did get a bit of education.

God Help the Child by Toni Morrison

Bride is a woman who comes across in the story as older, but she’s in her early 20’s. She successful and talented and has a troubling past. She also goes into a strange descent when she chases after a lover who abandons her without explanation.

Another new book club read. I didn’t hate this book and I didn’t love it. It was very short and easy to read and left a lot of questions in the air. Great book for a book club to process all the different interpretation of events. For me I read it as a story of a girl with a lot of growing up to do and a mother who knows she did wrong, but won’t say it, because she truly believed she did the best she could. A story of realizing no mother ever has all the answers and at the same time accepting what happens to a child will carry with them into being an adult.

Falling Angels by Tracy Chevalier

Set in the early 1900’s this story unfolds via the voices of several characters. Two young girls who start a friendship, their parents and a few other friends or family along the way. A story about women’s rights, what they were seen as back in the day in England and also “proper etiquette”.

I found this story fascinating. While reading it I kept talking to others about it which I think is a sign of a good book. At first I was all “Why can’t we go back to the days when men worked and all I had to do was read and tend to the house? And really we had maids for that?” but as I read and the characters’ lives changed I changed my tune too. I guess I too often forget the sacrifices people made once upon a time for all the rights and privileges I take for granted currently.

So my book of the month is Made You Up. Followed closely ever so closely by Bossypants. If anyone else reads or has read either, feel free to let me know what you think or thought!  I’m on Goodreads.

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