I came home tonight with the intention of going to Zumba. Then I read our inspection report and my bubble was popped for the evening. Not that I refuse to work out when I’m in a bad mood, but I didn’t want to be away in case someone called.Right now this is not fun, right now I am so stressed I don’t care more one way or the other if we get this place. I see dollar signs floating everywhere and I’m freaking out.
To calm myself I turned to Netflix which I haven’t done in a while since I decided to join ALL the book clubs and do ALL the reading this month. As I scrolled I came across “Ask me Anything” and a movie based on blogging is always of interest to me and I pressed play.
Outside of the blog aspect of things, I really enjoyed this movie. Maybe it was the way I could relate to young and bad choices of relationships. Maybe it was the way I could related to “sorta” abuse as a child. Maybe it was the therapy or the sex. Really if I’m going to be totally honest…it was the way she viewed her blog. At times it gave her great pride to have so many readers. At other times she was astonished at the cruel things people will say anonymously.
I won’t give away any important plot twists or the ending…but I will say when she talks about the idea of walking away from her blog, it’s a narrative I have reviewed time and time again. What would it be like to live without wondering how it will write up? What would it be to live without a timeline of publication? Do young people simply want to be famous even if they aren’t good at anything? Am I no longer a young person?
Aside from the ending the other part that really struck a cord with me was when the main character explains why she writes under a fake name. She says it’s so no one in real life can find her and then she can tell the truth. After all what’s the point of having a blog if you aren’t going to tell the truth?
Two months from now I will celebrate the 6th anniversary of this blog. Pretty cool huh? I still remember how excited I was when I made it to 1 year. And how scared I was I wouldn’t make it to year two…because what could I possibly write about for a whole second YEAR?
I’m very excited to be moving forward with my life, but just like moving into a new physical domain, I need to change around my mental and emotional domains. I need to take stock of what I have available and decide what to keep and what to pitch or donate. Of the things I keep they may need a new purpose or a new location. Running isn’t just for therapy or weight loss, it’s for fun. OK. Reading has made a comeback…an escape from reality without as much drama as TV or movies. OK. I have friends and family willing to talk. OK. Blogging was another escape, blogging was a sense of self, blogging was an accountability tool. If I don’t need to escape, or build myself up or track a mission, then what is blogging?
Blogging is me.
Over the last week I made a joke about two different statements I think would make great life mottoes or titles of autobiographies.
“Although we have an agenda, we will be all over the place”. And “Almost there, just around the corner! Only to discover there’s another corner”.
I don’t want to be a broken record, but I don’t want to be fake either. This last week I went to Zumba twice, hiked 5 miles, biked 14 miles and biked a second time for 7 miles. The week before that I did Zumba once, and hiked 4 miles then 5 miles. Still doing Weight Watchers and I’ve lost .5 pounds. YAY!
Normally I’d talk about those in detail, but I didn’t take many pictures. So have a GREAT week everyone, I’ll be posting more information items this week and I’ll be back with real life stories before you know it!